The GOAT Farm: 2021 Book & Music Inductees

The GOAT Farm: 2021 Book & Music Inductees

A few weeks ago, that most-cherished traitor, Tom Brady, won his seventh Super Bowl ring, and in the wake of all the nonsensical sports talk radio debates that have continued to rage since then (“okay, so he’s the Greatest Quarterback Of All Time, but does that make him the Greatest Athlete Of All Time? Where does he rank next to MJ, next to Serena, next to Michael Phelps?”) I have been thinking a lot about the general concept of “greatness”. What it means, and how we recognize it, and why, as a society, we can’t seem to stop having discussions about it.

Human beings have a natural inclination to commemorate greatness. We diligently keep track of historical records. We rank the accomplishments of one legend over another and engage in endless arguments over which one of them was the best. Entire award shows are predicated on this concept– the Grammy’s, the Tony’s, the Academy Awards. Buildings have been built, from Cooperstown to Canton to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, for the sole purpose of enshrining the moments, careers, and people that we believe deserve to be remembered.

I don’t have a television special or a physical museum or anything half so grand, but I do share in that same compulsion to document whatever greatness I believe I’ve encountered. Enter: the GOAT Farm. A metaphorical grazing ground I’ve just established for all of the books, music, and assorted pop culture ephemera that have made my jaw drop and my eyes widen in wonder over the years; the art that I consider to be among the Greatest Of All Time. I think keeping a running record of all the things you’ve loved is just another way of being able to look back upon your life and understand yourself better, the ways you’ve been shaped and influenced and changed, maybe without even having realized it at the time.

Continue reading “The GOAT Farm: 2021 Book & Music Inductees”

January 2021 Review

January 2021 Review

If you’ve ever read my newsletter the evening coat you’re already aware that I derive an inordinate amount of satisfaction from the act of distinguishing the months from each other as they pass, of celebrating their seasonal virtues and idiosyncrasies, and feeling grateful for how all of it put together gives life the kind of texture and meaning it might otherwise lack.

Maybe it’s the writer part of me, but I find it helpful to think of the year as a twelve chaptered book in which each one does its part to advance the plot. Obviously the author of this book tends to be wildly experimental in style, with a penchant for circuitous narratives and unresolved subplots, leaving plenty of room for digressions and asides, but David Foster Wallace did a lot of these same things and is heralded a genius for them, so it must still be a method of storytelling that is worthwhile. To try and make sense of my personal edition of 2021, I’ve decided to compile my own version of a Cole’s Notes for each chapter, which I will now present to you here.

Continue reading “January 2021 Review”

10 Years of Speak Now: I Rank All 14 Songs From My Most Cherished Taylor Swift Album

10 Years of Speak Now: I Rank All 14 Songs From My Most Cherished Taylor Swift Album

Two anecdotes to attempt to explain the depths of my devotion to the music of Taylor Swift, which might also inadvertently reveal a mildly concerning emotional fragility:

  1. I have cried literal tears each of the three times I’ve seen Taylor Swift in concert. Not heaving, full-body sobs, or anything- I’m only half a lunatic. Picture instead an elderly Catholic grandmother attending an Easter Mass in Vatican City, as she catches her first glimpse of the Pope up on his balcony- the emotion welling up within her, catching her off guard and making her eyes shine. Basically that is me as a concert attendee.
  2. I have a recurring nightmare in which I somehow encounter Taylor Swift in the wild and am unable to express how much her music has meant to me for a range of dream-logic reasons: my mouth has been sewn shut, or there are wolves chasing me, or she has somewhere else to be. In my waking hours I have legitimately considered jotting down some notes on the subject to keep with me at all times, just in case. Though I suppose now it would be more efficient to just point her towards this blog.

So. There. Two completely normal, extremely chill things to admit to the Internet forever. But I could never pretend to be anything other than exuberantly enthusiastic and achingly sincere when it comes to the songs that have soundtracked my life for nearly fifteen years, the lyrics that have helped shape my worldview and the mad dreamer-genius behind it all.

Continue reading “10 Years of Speak Now: I Rank All 14 Songs From My Most Cherished Taylor Swift Album”

The 8 Best Pop Culture Moments of 2020 (A Midterm Report Card)

The 8 Best Pop Culture Moments of 2020 (A Midterm Report Card)

I’ve never complained about writer’s block in my life. I haven’t always loved the jumbled rhythm of words that sometimes result from halfheartedly stabbing at my keyboard, but the point is that the words have nevertheless consistently come out. Like a scratch card game where everyone’s a winner, even if sometimes “winning” just means one or two dollars. 

Since embarking on my journey as a blogger, however, I have discovered that I am prone to severe cases of poster’s block. The words might be there, but the necessary assurance that they’re worth reading is often not; particularly in this upside down year, with all its chaos and scrapped plans and upheaval. Words sometimes don’t seem to be enough. 

To that end, I’ve found myself more on the receiving end of content these days, which has meant a lot of listening, and a lot of watching. Towards the end of last year, I naively wrote about pop culture being our last unifying force, and the important bonds we could forge from these shared experiences. I think we can all agree that 2020 has given us a greater number of experiences to share than anybody ever wanted– particularly since they’ve tended to involve more video conference calls and anxiety attacks than blockbuster movie premieres. Still, in the absence of plenty of life’s other trappings, this year pop culture has taken on an outsized role in how we have connected with each other, and I believe many of these pop culture moments will be what stand out, decades from now, when we can finally bring ourselves to reflect upon 2020. I thought maybe that made them worth writing about, worth reading about, worth remembering. 

{A couple of caveats: though I titled this piece “The Best Pop Culture Moments of 2020”, I have made zero attempts to be thorough or objective in my choices. In fact, some of this year’s most memeable content– Tiger King, for instance, or Animal Crossing– are items I haven’t gotten around to quite yet. So you may find the experience of perusing this list to be akin to being shown around Rome by a tour guide who neglects to take you to the Colosseum or The Vatican. 

Or, considering we’re dealing with 2020, a tour guide fashioned after the Charlize Theron character in Mad Max: Fury Road, if instead of ferrying women to safety she chose to use her war rig for sightseeing. “Look at this desert wasteland!” I cry, rapturously pointing out sandstorms and salt flats while ignoring the din of war drums growing louder. “Isn’t the apocalypse grand?”}     

Continue reading “The 8 Best Pop Culture Moments of 2020 (A Midterm Report Card)”

Teardrops On My Tom Brady Jersey: A Taylor Swift Playlist For Breaking Up With The GOAT

Teardrops On My Tom Brady Jersey: A Taylor Swift Playlist For Breaking Up With The GOAT

On the list of ever-shifting, ever-growing global concerns right now, I get that Tom Brady choosing to leave the New England Patriots probably doesn’t rank in the top thousand. We are living in bizarre and often frightening times as COVID-19 has quietly upended the way we do almost everything, and most people will be grateful for the return to normalcy that a 2020 NFL season would herald at all, no matter what jersey The Greatest Quarterback Who Ever Lived might be wearing. 

I understand all of that, on an intellectual level. Getting my dumb, frivolous heart on board is another story.     

Continue reading “Teardrops On My Tom Brady Jersey: A Taylor Swift Playlist For Breaking Up With The GOAT”

Broken Records: Four Ways To Fix The Grammys

Broken Records: Four Ways To Fix The Grammys

In an act of what was either incredible cynicism or remarkable hubris, I started thinking about how to improve the Grammys months ago. But after watching brother and sister baby geniuses Billie Eilish and Finneas stack up trophies for their genuinely brilliant, haunting album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? I began to reconsider. Maybe the Grammys had figured themselves out, finally. Maybe they’d taken off their nostalgia goggles and at long last achieved a clearer sense of where music is going.

Then I remembered the other three (or was it ten?) hours of the ceremony.

There are few things in this world more precious to me than music, and there is no annual event more consistently disappointing to me than what is supposed to be Music’s Biggest Night. The gap between what I love about music and what the Recording Academy believes is worth showcasing about music seems to widen steadily every year, and what has resulted is a bloated, disjointed and hollow production with little to no respect for the audience it is supposed to be entertaining. 

Continue reading “Broken Records: Four Ways To Fix The Grammys”